allow me ma'am: in the mid-Cretaceous period there lived an overly flamboyant and irritating dinosaur related to the anklosaurus with the scientific name Agoraphillus Lustardae(hooray for butchered latin words) or simply the Attention Whore-a-saurus. this creature is for the most part, a herbivore but is known to have an all-consuming desire for attention and feels as though it cannot survive without it.
fortunately for this creature, it possesses a few adaptations for getting that craved attention. first, the Attention whore-a-saurus is a manipulative BS artist that came up with threats and self-insults to gain the sympathy of dim-witted creatures and white-knight-adons coming in to supposedly "save" the Attention Whore-a-saurus. each Attention Whore-a-saurus is an ungrateful little brat in behavior and typically whines about how hard her life is even though she has the necessary tools for her hobby and has parents that were nice enough to give her such things.
regardless of whether the Attention Whore-a-saurus has any prior knowledge of the subject it will say or post anything just for a steady stream of likes and this strategy has helped it survive during it's period of existance.
It is also important to note that each Attention-Whore-a-saurus sports lots of make-up, more piercings than necessary, dresses like a prostitute, and has a large gallery of "deep" wolf art and self-photos with duck-faces, Cleavage shots, and Ass shots the fans always ask for more of. Thankfully they were driven to extinction by Trollasauruses, Moderatorasauruses, and a very long server maintenence of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that Occurred back then.
"So today I started my period; it really sucks because my mum makes me use pads instead of tampons like all the girls at school use. Also, my boyfriend broke up with me.....PLEASE MAKE ME FANART OR I WILL CUT MYSELF! Please. I'm going to commit suicide; sorry, but everbody hates me. Today, someone's signature said my gallery is the worst; why do people do that? I hate them; they're just jealous of my internet-popularity. They're dicks who need to burn in hell because they suck. ABORTION IS SO MEAN! It's, like, killing babies! My mum says that Jesus hates you if you do it, so don't guys; pro-life is cool! My boyfriend says he will come kill me with a shotgun, and my mum and I are so worried about losing our lives and stuff. My Daddy took away my iPad, and now I'm going to die without my Owl City, Lady Gaga and Coldplay. Charlie the Unicorn is so funny! My friend has a t-shirt of it; lucky bitch. I bet her dad doesn't hate her and take away her iPad like my dad does.....FUCK HIM! He ruined my life, stole my music, and now I can't draw anything but crying wolves, because it's super deep to draw wolves."
Yeah, I doubt Beelzebub would really want anything with mine now...I'll have to put it in the bargain bin out the front of one of those crappy $2 Shops, and it'll sit, languishing pathetically under a lurid shell of clearance stickers for time immemorial.
"Attention Whore" always brings about a thought of this one scene girl named Evelyn I know that nobody likes but my friend Mellie invites her to her parties and events, I think, out of sympathy because I can't figure out any other reason to invite the girl. She always dresses slutty, showing cleavage like no other and flirts with random guys at the party (even though she already has a boyfriend) and then she later complains that "I'm so fat!" and "No boy would ever think I'm beautiful! " I remember at one of the parties, some of my other friends that didn't know Evelyn very well made the mistake of giving the bitch what she wanted saying, "Don't worry, you're pretty!" I was so tempted to pull my friends aside and say, "Don't fall for her bullshit."
Anyway, long rant aside. This is freakin' hilarious. xD
I can somehow understand that the Attention Whorus saurus was taking about her boyfriend breaking up with her, commiting suicide because everyone 'hates' her today, somebody have a signature that says her gallery's the worse (Yours. ), people being jealous because of her internet 'popularity', along with abortion being like killing babies, her mum saying that Jesus hates you if you do something, I don't know, About how her boyfriend could kill her with a shotgun, that her and her mum are worried about losing their stuff, how her dad took her iPad and now she can't live without her Owl City and Lady Gaga albums along with her coldplay, even though so many people in Africa live without food for many days of the year, Charlie the unicorn being funny and how her friend has a t-shirt of it and how her friend's dad doesn't hate his daughter and doesn't take her iPad like her own dad does and tells him to fuck himself because he 'stole' her life and music. And apparently, she is incapable of doing anything but one thing because of a lack of an overpriced iPhone, at least in my opinion.
Did I get every single detail here? XD Actually, scratch that, I only managed to translate like about half of her garbage.
TragicRewriteFeatured By OwnerOct 28, 2011Hobbyist General Artist
Oh yeah, the idiotic "white knights" who get all upset and scream/report anyone who calls the attention whore out on being one? I hate 'em all, but you can't find drama quite like that anywhere else lol.